The past 11 months have been a whirlwind. Hard, tiring, busy, easy, fun, confusing and… really sweet. =) Ironically, I’ve found that I can be frustrated at baby while also loving her cuteness at the same time. It is possible to feel conflicting emotions at once.
This May my baby turns 1 and I turn a whopping 30. Isn’t it timely that before I hit the big 3-0, I should experience motherhood some? This year has provided me a lot of insight that I guess matures me into a full grown adult. With motherhood has come experiences that have made me think more about the adult side of things. Scary, yes, but eye opening and healthy I think. I am really starting to feel like I’m growing up. Aging.
What’s the first year of motherhood been like for me? (give me one more month and I can show off my certificate!) Here are just a few thoughts for now:
I get to play with toys again. Despite the tiring hours of work, the clingy baby, the beginning of tantrums and crying, the poopy diapers and more, one of my favorite things about being a mom is that I get to play again. I am a kid at heart, but with age, it seems like we sometimes are so overwhelmed with responsibilities and there is little room left to play. Maybe I’m the only one, but I consider it a perk to get to play with cool toys and read children’s books again. I know Maddie loves the Children section of the library; I LOVE it! They have puzzles and books that are way larger than adult books, books with large print, a colored carpet so you can sit on the ground and read, toys??! Really, being a child is fun. But being a child’s parent is even funner.
My mother did a lot of work for me. The big lesson learned after the first few weeks of caring for an infant was that my mom did a WHOLE lot of work for me. Before entering motherhood, I honestly thought the hard work that my mom did mainly involved discipline. She forced me to practice piano when I didn’t want to. She made sure I did my homework. She cooked for us. She worked and made money to help support our family. That was what I thanked her for on Mother’s Day. But until this year, I had no idea that mothering a baby required feeding all the time, waking up at random times during the night for colds, congestion, itchiness, who knows what. I had no idea it meant I had to pack and think really hard before I would go to the zoo, or even to the store. I had no idea it meant I would have a baby wiping her dirty hands and snot on my clothes all the time. I didn’t think about the work involved in cutting all food into little pieces. Or having to puree everything. With each day, I’m realizing the little and big things that my mom did for me. Believe me, every time I breathe a tired sigh or roll my eyesball silently because baby is fussing, I think about my mom. Thank you thank you and God bless you 1000 times.