I am in over my head. By the time my husband and I struggle to get all the kids in bed (and to get them to stay there), I plop myself on the couch exhausted and often, quite hopeless. Sleep is what I need, yet my feeling is that if I tuck myself into bed, tomorrow will come in a blink. Sigh…this season of my life is filled with cute faces and snuggles, YES. But many times it feels overshowered with lots of crying, temper tantrums, wiping long streams of stretchy boogers, singing songs in exhaustion, reading books(again and again), whining, little people chanting “Hoooooold me! Hoooooolld me!” and more. What do single ladies have to do with all this?
Soooo very much. While singleness can often be viewed (especially in the Asian culture) as such a horrible thing, if it were not for the single ladies in my life, I likely would lose it, go bonkers and have freak attacks a little too many times. Frankly, my single friends are super special. They (YOU single lady friends) help me survive.
Now with three ones, I have zero desire to get out of the house and exercise though my body and soul deeply needs it. Before I had kids, I trained for races, ran two marathons. I thought I would run more and break PRs and such. But then it happened. I became a mom. Truthfully, it has been so fun, don’t get me wrong. Yet with each additional blessing/offspring, I have also struggled to get active. Not because I want to look good, but because I need to destress. Maintain sanity. Get some regular anger management??
When I had two babies, a girlfriend (single at the time), drove to me and would go on runs with me. Running with this friend of mine was therapy and a way to run and hang out with a friend at the same time. It was a good breather for a mom who needed to get out. I am so thankful for that time and for her. It was a special time!
If not for another friend of mine, I really would have given up running by now. Three kids? Don’t I have an excuse to stay in bed? Yet every week, this friend (again single) drives over to my house (thank you thank you) and works with my odd and wonky schedule. We run early, but when little people have woken me up multiple times at night she is totally okay with changing the plan and running another time. I am so thankful for her too.
The best birthday gift my daughter got for her 5th birthday was hands down this super cool night light that my good friend got for her. This friend of mine is like a sister to me and in her singleness, she consistently has some of the cooolest most thoughtful gifts. My thought is that she goes to a store and lingers (something mommies just would die for) and uses her creative juices to buy super cool gifts for people. I consider her gift giving skills to be a superpower.
It really sucks but young moms don’t make the best type of friends. I remember being in my early 20’s, single, and talking to my older sisters as they raised their young kids. I loved talking to my sisters, however, every conversation we had was interrupted by some kid! As hard as they tried to be engaged, it was difficult for my sisters to listen. Years later, I am that mom. Talk to me and know that our dialogue may likely be interrupted every few seconds. For the single friends who are willing to be friends with me, to have interrupted conversations, who drive to me, who are willing to hang out with kids (dork) and not have my full attention. Are you angels?!!?
All you single ladies. All you may desire is a husband and/or children. I am sorry for your struggle. And I don’t know what it’s like for you. I don’t. But in your singleness, remember that you have a gift and freedom to bless people in a way that a married woman or mother cannot. You may want to have the responsibility to prep dinner for your spouse or make lunches for your children. Maybe you want to have bedtime routines or to read stories to your own children. As you wait and hope to have moments like that, my hope is you remember the gift of time that you have to be able to help one in need, when they need it. It may not last forever. So remember your superpower.
P.S – I am so thankful for you!